In these brief moments, I look back, to all that has been, to all I have been. All I've done in ignorance, all that has fallen to ruin before me, all I've sought but never found, and in my desperation to love and be loved, the lies I've believed. I see nothing was as I thought, and the world I live in resembles nothing of memory; a sterile pit of troubled husks is all that will remain, a false peace built atop a people misled, divided, betrayed, and slaughtered by avarice, though none care to acknowledge, and I am left alone to watch everything drift away.
In these brief moments, I've since returned to the fields ever waving in search of the path forward. In the disquiet of night, I see a world bathed in sin, and I am no different. Loathesome, wretched, vile, detestable. I hear nothing else, for I've felt nothing else, nor am I deserving. In the fields I lay, pierced, lacerated, every familiar tie to my form severed, the weight of my sin rending my sanity as sawblades pressed into my mind, ringing through every perceivable frequency, the taste of blood inescapable; that I've felt even a fraction of hell, I cry out for forgiveness and cling to life, though I witness reality breaking apart everywhere I look, everywhere I think. Imperfection is woven into every fiber of my being, and feeling with every step how thoroughly I've been torn to rid myself of it, I breathe deeply and walk the path of repentance.
In these brief moments, I see what lies ahead, but so much as I am able, I will be there for those around me, and for those that hear my words, know that you are loved. For as long as I am here, I will speak.
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