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Hold

by Radiarc

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I am still, staring into the horizon as the world shifts around me, writhing in the light of the setting sun.

Since waking, though I've found the strength to walk forward, I walk alone, each step ringing through the fabric of time in a sorrowful tone, my heart harmonizing in determination to carry forward to that which is inevitable. As I walk, the fallen and dead line the streets, all civilization ablaze with falsehood, lies, and deceit. Through the echoes of wars and rumors of wars, I hold, for I know the end is soon. In every passing day, I await the end of my suffering, though I feel I have not yet begun to suffer in the way I deserve, as familiars past whisper hauntingly, my chest bleeding steadily from the hole I once carved.

And still, I hold the darkness within, the anger and envious bitterness that claws away at my soul; the self is no longer denied in the wake of truth, and in truth, as a mirror before me, I feel the greatest joy and the greatest pain, that integrity is not gained without the acceptance of that which truly is, and what I am, I do not fully understand. As I near the end of my path, I see shadows form in the air and litter the streets, eventually obscuring the city and its people. The time is at hand.

Many days, I feel similarly. None are without the gravity of everything I know and love falling to ruin, without the pain of loneliness, without wondering if I've neglected anything, anyone. The world will be eclipsed, for a time. I believe it's highly important we retain what humanity we have left in whatever capacity we're able, and to hold on to what we can wherever possible and reasonable. I feel things may soon surpass reason.

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released April 29, 2022

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